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Greatest Country Hits That Were Never Released (for obvious reasons)

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

24. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure.

23. How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?

22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.

21. I Bought A Car From The Guy Who Stole My Girl, But It Don't Run So
We're Even.

20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.

19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.

18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.

17. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.

16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.

14. I've Got Tears in My Ears Fromn Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.

13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.

12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.

11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).

10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.

9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.

8. Please Bypass This Heart.

7. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger.

6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.

5. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.

3. She's Actin' Single And I'm Drinkin' Doubles.

2. She's Lookin' Better After Every Beer.

And the Number One Country Song is:

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.

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