Final Four Update
Dearest Hoopsters:
To quote the incomparable Gary Cole in the movie Dodgeball “Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Great Pyramids of Egypt, I’ve even (expletives deleted), but never, in all my years as a sportscaster, have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we’ve witnessed here today…”
Duke led the entire game, and this thing was over. Houston was cooked, and I just knew Duke would find a way to get to Monday’s matchup against Florida. But I know nothing.
Houston pulled off a dramatic comeback in the final minutes to advance to Monday’s title game (can’t call a 1 vs. 1 an upset), and went medieval on the standings in Jabin’s March Madness Charity Pool.
First things first. In current standings, Wineguys still leads with 95 points, followed by Danno 1 with 94 points, Drift with 93, Lynn’s Bracket with 92, and Twisted Slinky and Jim Fynes at 91. However, let’s cut to the chase. Our leader has Duke winning the national championship, so cannot score any more points. That means it comes down to Danno 1 (who has Florida winning) and Twisted Slinky (the highest ranking player who has Florida winning). A Florida win will give Danno a total of 100 points and the title, and a Houston win will give Twisted Slinky 97 and the title (current leader has 95). As Chevy Chase said: “I was told there would BE no math.” Head to the site for complete standings entering Monday’s title game.
Still can’t believe what I just witnessed, but we actually did have a first semifinal on Saturday.
Florida just had too much Walter Clayton Jr. for Auburn to deal with, as he scorched War Eagle for 34 points, including some pretty ridiculously great shots. A pretty high octane game throughout, although the last few clock minutes took about a half hour (I hate that, but it’s hard to blame teams for doing anything they can to win). Some pretty unbelievable plays throughout, not just from Clayton, and a very entertaining game.
Chalk???
With all four No. 1 seeds playing in the Final Four, you’ve probably heard the word “chalk” floated around a lot to describe brackets playing out pretty much as seeded. We’ all heard the word, but if you’re like me (and I sincerely hope you are not), you might wondering why that term is used. Turns out it dates back to horse racing early in the 20th century, when they used to use chalkboards (kids, ask your parents) to write the odds for each horse before races. When the odds changed based on the amount wagered on each horse, they would have to erase and re-write the odds. Gradually, the word “chalk” came to stand for the act of favorites advancing (presumably because the chalk didn’t have to be erased), in a process known as metonymy, which is defined as “substituting the name of an attribute for the name of the thing itself.”. So 2 things: 1. Yes, I had to look all of this up on the interwebs, and 2. You’re lucky I didn’t use “Why the long face?” joke, which I am legally required to do when a horse is mentioned. Say it with me, “The makers of Jabin’s March Madness Charity Pool apologize for the lame joke(s).”
Commercials
I may owe an apology to the Capital One folks, because the spot where they go back in time to the invention of basketball is growing on me, especially when Sir Charles breaks the “last peach basket” on a thunderous dunk, disappointing one Will Forte (fiddlesticks!), who I’ve always loved. SNL fans might remember his great work on the show, including one of my all-time favorite skits. However, I stand by my claim that most of the stuff this year has been re-treads or just “regular” commercials (meaning not made for March Madness). Luckly the basketball has been fantastic, which is kind of the point.
OK, so who will it be on Monday night? Florida or Houston? Danno 1 or Twisted Slinky? We’ll find out together, and I’ll be back to you late Monday night with the exciting conclusion.
Yours in hoops,
Jabin